OK, I admit it. I was a little nervous taking the Oath of Office today. Maybe I got a little too excited and started repeating the oath a tad bit too early.
People seem to be fascinated with my new ride, "The Beast". You've seen the photos: a monstrous 8-ton shiny black armor-plated limo-tank. Built by General Motor's Cadillac division, it's based on a truck chassis from the gigantic GMC Topkick truck.
Nothing gets my adrenaline flowing faster than watching the blue flag fly at the start of the race and hearing Darrell Walnut shout: "Boogery, boogery, boogery! Let's go racing boys!"
On Thursday, I went to Canada. As I was sitting in meeting after meeting there, my mind began to wander and I started to think that maybe there is a way that I can personally help offset some of the tremendous costs of this recovery bill.
I've said before numerous times that I believe in reaching across the aisle and extending a friendly helping hand to my would-be rivals. It is in that bipartisan spirit that I include what I consider to be some of the highlights of my most-likely-rival in 2012, Bobby Jindal's eloquent "Republican Response".
Let's face it. Rush Limbaugh is the voice and the intellectual force and energy behind the Republican Party. I made a promise to the American people to reach across the aisle and strive to find a common ground. What better way to show my commitment to the spirit of bipartisanship than to invite Rush Limbaugh to be an important part of the Obama Administration?
Things have been pretty serious around the White House lately. The economy is in a mess; our country is at war; people are out of work; and on and on. I figure, this country could use a little "luck o' the Irish" right about now.
Look, I get it. We'd all like to see Iran return to the good 'ol days of the early 70s when the Shah was in power; the oil was flowing; and women showed their faces. But, we're not going to get there by threats. We're not going to get there by name calling.
I've taken some heat the last few days about an offhand remark I made on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno last Thursday. Frankly, I believe it is undeserved. For those of you who didn't see the show, let me set the scene for you.
Every time I need to stop by Congress or the State Department, the Secret Service needs to choreograph a motorcade with six different exit routes. This is time-consuming and costly. I am happy to report that I have found a better way.
Shortly after winning the election, I promised my daughters we would get a dog after we moved into the White House. We felt it was important to adopt a dog who needed a home, rather than purchase a new puppy. When we heard about the plight of the dog that had grown too big for his home in the city, we immediately made the decision.
I am in Europe this week meeting with the G-20 leaders to discuss the global economy. My first stop was in Frankfurt, Germany. The folks in Frankfurt are suffering mightily from the deep recession here. Last night, I held a town hall meeting (technically it was a "beer hall" meeting) where I took questions from the audience.
I know. I heard. No one is supposed to touch the Queen. By now, I'm sure all of the news media has thoroughly covered my "royal faux pas". I would like a chance to explain what actually happened.
There is a small controversy brewing regarding some videos posted on You Tube. I want to set the story straight. My White House PR guys, in their scramble for some kind of official explanation, came up with "It wasn’t a bow. He grasped his hand with two hands, and he’s taller than King Abdullah". Uh.. Good one guys, but the American people are definitely too smart for that explanation.