The White House seeks a permanent solution to the proliferation of gun-related violence in this country. Clearly, this is a goal that all Americans can embrace. As the most ardent gun-loving NRA supporters like to say, "Guns don't kill people; People do". This is why the Obama Administration is working on a cradle-to-grave solution to gun violence.

President Obama hopes that realistic guns may soon become beloved childhood toys once again

Step One: Bring back realistic toy guns

Gun violence has escalated dramatically in the last two decades. Ironically, the presence of toy guns in households with young children has fallen just as much during the same time frame.

This is not a coincidence. Realistic looking toy guns have become the "forbidden fruit" for many children growing up in this country today. Too many of these kids turn into adults who flock to gun shows to stock up on ammunition, shotguns, handguns, and assault weapons; and then live in total fear of "the government' coming to take away their guns. It's an ugly situation.

The Obama Administration believes that by encouraging parents to buy their young children realistic looking toy (and we mean TOY!) guns, the future level of gun violence will decline over time.

The toy industry is in trouble. Many children now prefer video games to old-fashioned toys. And who can blame them with the watered-down version of fun they have been offered in recent decades. The Obama Administration is hopeful that the toy industry will experience a new level of growth as a result of this program.


Step Two: Federal Mandatory Weapon Colorization Program

President Obama shooting gun


Who would hold up a bank with a pink gun?

The second part of the Cradle-to-Grave Gun Control solution is the most crucial one. While the President continues to believe the Assault Weapons Ban makes good sense, he is realistic about how politically difficult that would be to implement.

President Obama believes there is another way to reduce gun violence while still preserving a citizen's right to legally own a gun for hunting and for self-protection. Research has shown that color has a big influence on human behavior. An Arizona prison has found that requiring the inmates to wear pink uniforms has dramatically reduced the violence there.

The Obama Administration is proposing a requirement that all weapons in the U.S. fall into the pink-mauve-purple color spectrum. This order would cover both new and existing weapons. A federal program administered by the Justice Department would allow existing gun owners to have their weapons colorized free of charge. Police and military would be exempt.

The Obama Administration is confident that the colorization of citizen weaponry will reduce the appeal of guns among groups most likely to abuse their rights of ownership. Gone will be the days of gangbangers cruising the streets with their big guns sticking out the window. Who wants to be seen holding a pink Norinco SKS rifle? Gun show attendance will likewise decline for the same reasons.


Endorsed by the National Rifle Association

The Federal Mandatory Weapon Colorization Program has recently been endorsed by the National Rifle Association as "a common-sense solution we can all live with".   The President is optimistic that his Cradle-to-Grave Gun Control Solution will have a lasting positive impact on our nation.


NRA website supporting Weapon Colorization - parody





not The White House