White House Advice for a Successful APEC 2012 in Russia

 

After hosting the phenomenally successful APEC 2011 in Hawaii, the White House has offered its generous assistance to Russia in planning its 2012 Summit in Vladivostok. The 2012 APEC Leaders Week dates are September 2 - 9.

The key to any successful APEC Summit is the choice of costume for the traditional APEC Family Photo, also known as the "silly shirts" photo. The White House strongly believes that the choice of attire is a measure of a country's fortitude. A timid choice, such as the casual business attire at the 2010 APEC Summit in Japan, is a disappointment to APEC fans worldwide.

In a spirit of openness and transparency, President Obama asked the American People in 2011 to help make this important choice. This decision, as everyone knows, resulted in the instantly iconic APEC 2011 Leaders Photo below:

 

 

APEC 2012 in Vladivostok Russia

The White House approves of the unusual choice of Vladivostok for the APEC 2012 Leaders Meeting. While Russky Island does not come close to having the natural beauty or warm climate of Honolulu, its remote location will make security a breeze and help keep the protesters away, just like it did in faraway Hawaii. Sure the new bridge Russia is building to connect Russky Island to Vladivostok is nice, but a flashing welcome sign like the one pictured at the top of this page would definitely seal the deal.

In 2011, the White House chose the "APEC Leaders Commemorative Bobble Head" as the official APEC Leaders' gift. This choice was a real hit with the Leaders. For 2012, we recommend an APEC Leaders Matryoshka Doll set, preferably with President Obama in one of the top three nesting positions.

 

APEC Russia 2012 Logo

Everyone knows the logo sets the stage for the upcoming APEC Summit. While your current choice of logo is nice, the obvious resemblance to the Russian flag clearly goes against the spirit of APEC.

And though the U.S. applauds your symbolic use of a peaceful dove, we believe an eagle makes a better choice. In a spirit of openness, transparency, and friendship, the White House would like to offer this alternative logo for your consideration.

 

 

APEC 2012 Costume

While it would be presumptuous of the United States to suggest a costume for APEC 2012 Russia, the White House believes that any of the choices below would be appropriate. Das vadanya!