not The White House - White House parody website
not The White House - White House parody website
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Monday, March 23rd, 2009 at 7:55 am

My Bowling Remark on the Tonight Show

President Obama on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno

I've taken some heat the last few days about an offhand remark I made on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno last Thursday. Frankly, I believe it is undeserved. For those of you who didn't see the show, let me set the scene for you.

Jay asked me about the bowling alley at the White House. I told him that I recently bowled a 129, which happens to be a good score for me. We joked around about my poor bowling skills. It was then that I made the following offhand remark:

"I bowl like a polyester-shirt-wearing, kielbasa-with-mustard-dripping Polack Clevelander with a wimpy fairy wrist. You'd think I was a Depends-wearing old geezer or some blind-as-a-bat Braille-reader at the Special Olympics. At least I'm not like some holier-than-thou Catholic bragging like a gold-chained brother on crack about the fact that I have my own private bowling alley at the White House and don't have to mix with the cousin-marrying gap-toothed gun-toting clingy people you often see at a public bowling alley. And, as all your Jewish viewers will appreciate, the best part is that I can bowl for free."

If for some reason this offhand remark offended you, I apologize. Frankly, I think some people are just too sensitive.

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