not The White House - White House parody website
not The White House - White House parody website
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Thursday, March 26th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Riding the Secret Obametro Train

President Obama Metro Train Car

I made a promise to cut the deficit in half in five years. I personally examined the budget for the Executive Office of the President and I found some cost-saving opportunities.

One line item in particular stood out: "Presidential Ground Transportation within the District of Columbia". For security purposes, I cannot reveal the exact dollar amount, but trust me, it is exorbitant.

Every time I need to stop by Congress or the State Department, the Secret Service needs to choreograph a motorcade with six different exit routes. This is time-consuming and costly.

I am happy to report that I have found a better way. Starting soon, I am going to take the Metro whenever I need to get around DC. I know it sounds a little crazy, but hear me out. Those of you who live here know about "The Money Train". Every so often, you will see a darkened Metro train whiz by the station without stopping. That train is carrying money from the farecard machines around the system.

President Obama cleverly disguised as a homeless man
Soon you may see another darkened train whizzing through the station:  The Obametro Train. The Secret Service is currently working out the security details with Metro, but basically, I will use public transportation to get to where I need to go at a fraction of the cost of the presidential motorcade.

Now how will I get to the Metro station? I cannot reveal all of the exact details for security purposes. However, it is common knowledge that the White House is conveniently located near McPherson Square metro stop. It is just a short walk through the park and up the street.

So the next time you think you are seeing a homeless man with a shopping cart heading up 15th Street, show him a little respect. He might just be the Leader of the Free World on his way to meet with Congress.

Nope, this is not the official website of The White House. It's a parody of  No person, department, or agency of the U.S. Government approved, endorsed, or authorized this site. No animals were harmed while making this website (except maybe that one time when I was a little late feeding my dog his dinner).
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