not The White House - White House parody website
not The White House - White House parody website
Home - not The White House

Nuclear Launch Codes




ATTENTION: The online nuclear launch authorization program is for Presidential Use Only. Access to this this system is controlled via a highly-secure and foolproof retinal scanning system. To proceed with the POTUS retinal authorization screen, click on the icon below:


Are you sure you're the President?




Military officer carries nuclear football briefcase

In the past, a military officer carrying a special briefcase (nicknamed "The Football") had to accompany the President wherever he went. The briefcase carried the secret daily codes needed to launch a nuclear attack along with a list of targets and attack scenarios.

To launch an attack, the President would need to confirm his identity using a code printed on a plastic card (nicknamed "the biscuit"), which the President was supposed to always have in his possession. With today's technology and internet availability, the "football" and the "biscuit" have become obsolete.

As a supreme show of confidence in the new White House Cybersecurity Plan and an ongoing commitment to openness and transparency, the Daily Nuclear Codes are uploaded to this White House website giving the President immediate access to these vital codes wherever he is.

Because these Top Secret codes are protected through the use of a retinal scan, they can only be accessed by President Obama. This online nuclear launch capability along with the Cyber Warfare Command and Control System give President Obama the tools he needs to keep our nation safe.


Related:  White House Continuity of Government Plan




Nope, this is not the official website of The White House. It's a parody of  No person, department, or agency of the U.S. Government approved, endorsed, or authorized this site. No animals were harmed while making this website (except maybe that one time when I was a little late feeding my dog his dinner).
About this Website                    Copyright Information                      Privacy Policy